Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
