Already got asked if we're dating
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
