4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The air was thick with penises
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
