it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
