SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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