Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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