"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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