If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
