Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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