I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
