I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize