I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
