i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
