Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
