spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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