We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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