He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
