i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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