it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
