have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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