cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
