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And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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