Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
