Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
another moral hangover. fuck.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
