my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
