living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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