Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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