The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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