what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
