If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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