I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
