so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
