HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
