So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
