this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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