no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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