he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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