from now on my penis is your penis
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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