the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
