i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
