So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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