this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
