Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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