I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
