Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
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