I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
