Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
