He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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