I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
