Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Jerry, you need to find god
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
